The girls are talking

One of the most important influences on the positive development of emotions is the environment in which the child grows up, learns, plays, and lives. If the environment is inappropriate or insensitive to the child’s needs or saturated with various risk factors, the child is likely to have difficulty developing useful and relevant emotional competencies.

Children’s ways of expressing thoughts and feelings

  1. Aggressive
  2. Passive
  3. Aggressive – passive
  4. Assertive
Communication between children
Communication between children

Aggressive style of communication

A person with an aggressive style of communication freely expresses thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, but in a way that is often insincere, inadequate, and endangers the rights of another person. The goal of aggression is to establish control over the situation and people, demonstrate power, dominate and achieve victory over others.

The message it sends in communication

This is:

  • how I think – you are stupid if you think differently.
  • what I want – what you want doesn’t matter.
  • how I feel – your feelings don’t matter.

The passive style of communication

A person with a passive style of communication does not respect his needs and desires, does not take responsibility, violates his rights, and does not set boundaries. He is insecure in the conversation and tries in every way to satisfy his interlocutor to avoid a conflict.

The message it sends in communication is:

  • Don’t take me into account you are more important.
  • My feelings are not important, but yours.
  • What I think is irrelevant, you are the only one worth listening to.
  • I am nobody you are superior.
Conversation with a shy girl
Conversation with a shy girl

Passive-aggressive style of communication

The person with a passive-aggressive style of communication inserts ironic, sarcastic remarks during the conversation. He rarely expresses his opinion in public, does not show his true feelings, and is always a “victim”. That person always blames others for his frustrations, uses lies, gossip, and has a characteristic external artificial smile and bad feelings inside.

  • He fails to fulfill the agreement with others with a good excuse that he forgot, that he was prevented … He does not accept responsibility for that.

The assertive style of communication

A person with an assertive style of communication knows how to listen, respect others, and ask for it for himself. He does not surround himself in conversation, he speaks concretely and directly. When he criticizes behavior, he respects his personality. But he also knows how to praise and take responsibility for his actions. It includes respect, but not an indulgence. Assertive style implies respect for other people’s opinions and attitudes, but that does not mean that he has to agree with them. He knows how to tolerate discomfort and is open in expressing his feelings, he knows how to apologize, looks into his eyes, and is honest.

The message it sends in communication is:

  • Self-esteem – Respect for others
  • I’m worth it – You’re worth it

Parents often wonder where they went wrong or where they failed to do something right … They blame themselves. But what they can still do is teach the child positive forms of expressing emotions in certain situations and certain places. Every child has his character, which in certain situations shows a reaction. In more temperamental children, the reactions are more pronounced, more explosive. The first step in helping a child overcome anger is noticing patterns or situations that trigger aggressive behavior. In other words, it is important to notice when and where such behavior most often occurs. Most children go through very predictable behaviors before they lose control. So, parents, be patient, calm, and give the child love and understanding because that is the best way to succeed.


Written by

Irena Canji

I am a teacher in kindergarten. I have been working with children aged from three to seven since 2000. Also, I am a mother of two kids. My son is a teenager and my daughter is going to kindergarten. My main goal through the website is to show that the process is more important than the product. In childhood, kids need to play, have fun, learn through their experience.

The content of this website is an interesting activity for children. You don't need special skills, lots of money or too much preparing.

Just smile, only positive energy, and goodwill!